...Speechless...

THIS IS CRAZY!
To think that I have been here at Kaleo for a little over three weeks is so insane. This past week was a really interesting and packed week. It seems like this semester is so much harder than last. I have been busy doing homework and it always seems like the list of assignments and due dates are never ending. This past week was really good and bad at the same time. We started off with our first class of Theology of Christian Doctrine by the pastor of the Cobble Hill Baptist Church which some of our Kaleo students are interning at. It was quite interesting, he really likes to challenge you and he is very bold and blunt in his teaching. This style of teaching for a whole day was honestly really hard, it is challenging as he makes you think and if you want to speak up you need to be able to think quickly. It is also good in many ways as he won't give you watered down answers or statements but he stands by what he says. He talks from his convictions. One thing that really spoke to me during this class was how we are so selfish and we are always looking for what will meet our needs. He talked about how we go church "hunting" and when we're looking we have a list like good upbeat worship, a good energetic pastor, and childcare. Then if we do go to a church and for some reason if they haven't met all your needs you leave and go to another one. We've got so used to quitting or leaving when we aren't being served yet Jesus came to serve. "When you go somewhere you are most able to see the need because you are outside the picture and when you see a need you see a opportunity to fulfill this need. Where can you suffer most for the benefit the church? " As Christians we should not be entering our community (church) thinking what can I get out of it? Or how can my spiritual life be benefitted? But how can I benefit the church? Of course it is important when looking for a church to find one with a pastor who teaches good Biblical teaching and that it is near your community so you can fully engage. But we need to examine ourselves when we do start attending that we have a self-sacrificing attitude and that we get involved and help meet the needs. We need to put serving Jesus at the top of our priority and not Jesus serving us or the church serving us. So that was one of the "ah ha" moments during that class. Maybe not so much a "ah ha" as lets face it I'm a pastors kid who doesn't know what it means to go church hunting but it was one of those moments that was like "how did we get so confused in our way of thinking?" For the rest of the week I was busy doing homework as we had a few assignments due (which equalled to 2 crazy all nighters trying to get them done!). It was also our 24/4 week of prayer as we couldn't find 7 full days to devote to praying so that was really interesting yet again. I will honestly say that I am quite disappointed with myself in thinking about the last four days. I was signed up to be in the prayer room 4 times however I somehow missed 2 of the hours which left the person in there for my time too. I don't know why my head was gone this past week but it was really awful. For one of the times I decided to go in with someone to make up for the missed time and I was able to concentrate for a couple of minutes and then I somehow just fell asleep. That also happened the other time I was to be in there. It wasn't until the last day that I was able to STAND and actually fully engage in prayer. Thankfully it was a very good time for me, this past week I had a really conversation with one of the students here. It was very shattering, a lot of things came up. A lot of things I haven't been able to let go from the past and some thoughts and mindsets that were a result of my past were hindering me and those came up in our talk. Through that conversation I was able to realize why I had these mindsets that I hated. I realized the root of these thoughts and fears and in voicing them God was really able to bring freedom. I felt this weight being lifted and after our talk they prayed for me and now looking back at the issues or questions I was dealing with it seems so stupid and small. Before I had voiced them they had weighed me down so much and it was really burdensome but through sharing God really lifted that and it was almost instantaneously gone. I know that I still carry some of this weight but definitely not to the extent that I did. I am now able to face them and bring them to light and acknowledge them. Its much easier than brushing it off to the side and not knowing why I am like that. (Thats one way you can pray for me as well, that I would continue to think about the realizations I that I would continue to surrender and think about them instead of brush them off). So back to the last day of prayer, it was really cool to pray about that conversation and to move on. God really made some things clear to me in that last time of prayer, I realized that this year has been unlike my DTS in Australia. Obviously its different as it has a different focus but I saw how my relationship with God is at a different level than before which is exciting. In Australia I had so many times in which God felt so close and tangible in my life but this year there have only been small glimpses of that. I realized that it is just part of building my faith and not going by feeling but by faith. So that was also another interesting revelation. Aside from the prayer week and class, one of the more impacting things I learned this past week was in doing a paper for my Theology of Mission class. We were to read this book called Kingdom Come by Allen Wakabayashi and it was really challenging, it really transformed my idea of missions and what the church is really supposed to be. It stressed on how Jesus came to restore everything to what he originally intended it to be and how as our mission we are called to do the same, to bring God's glory here on Earth. It stressed the importance of as a church/community we need to be more active in caring for the needs of those around us and not just be thinking about peoples spiritual needs (which is very important) but not leaving it at just that but also caring for their physical needs. It also talked about how we need to be using our careers in ways that bring in God's goodness-his Kingdom. It really shaped my view of my mission as a Christian. Beforehand I thought by sharing my faith I was doing my duty (even though I have seldom done that) but its also about caring about social justice and restoring relationships between people. Wow, to think that all of this was in one week! As far as my church ministry this past Friday we had youth. We went to Lake Cowichan and we noticed that downstairs where we play games was filled with wood for remodeling the kitchen so all the games were not do-able. So we went upstairs and did some small games and ended up splitting up into groups and playing with legos. It was really sweet to sit with a group of girls (we dont have many guys at our youth group) and to hear how their weeks have went. This semester we have been asked to plan a youth group and do some devotionals so I'm really excited as sitting there I noticed how little I really know about them. Sure the kids come and give us hugs when we arrive but how much of time have we really spent getting to know the person behind the outward appearance and small glimpses of life behind that? On Sunday I also had my first Sunday service playing the piano without the other pianist. I played with the organist and it was definitely interesting. It has been a good opportunity to serve their church yet stretching as I am not familiar with the songs. They sing hymns which is definitely something I'm not used to as well as I'm playing with a organist! How many people can say they get to help lead worship with a organist? It was really a good experience no matter how nervous I was. Well with that I am going to end this painstakingly long post. This next week we are going to the mainland to Missions Festival where we will be attending the many seminars and hanging out in Vancouver which is exciting. If you could pray for us as we go there that God would continue to teach us more about himself and that for those students looking at possible opportunities next year that God would guide them. Also if you could pray about school work. I feel just so overwhelmed looking at the workload and on top of that our India team meets everyday this week which is crazy! I have felt so stressed out about how much we have been meeting and how much work I need to get done so I've been in need of many attitude adjustments when going to these meetings. But if you could pray that I would have peace and patience about both the India meetings and homework that would be great. Thank you so much for your prayers!..